Wanted: Brain Plumber

Remember that time I did somersaults in the pool and broke my brain?

Still broken.

I tell people my brain is leaking, but what I really should be saying is the tear in my dura has not healed so I have been leaking spinal fluid for three hundred and sixty-four days.

But saying “My brain is leaking” is more fun to say.

Not any more fun to live, but I take what I can get.

What I do have, in addition to a migraine, an aversion to bright lights, a very faulty memory, and random bouts of slurred speech and minor bouts of manic like behavior, is a collection of class four drugs, and an impressive fedora collection.

Because fedoras are this light adverse gal’s best friends.

My brain in leaking.

Did I forget to mention?

I’m kangaroo virus free (hurrah!).  I still have the migraine (boo!) which is apparently caused by leaking spinal fluid (what word is more negative than “boo”?).

So, technically, my brain isn’t leaking.  Just the stuff holding my brain in position is leaking. Which leads to ouch.

I’ve been told it won’t last longer than six months (As long as six months?  Once again, word more negative than “boo”?  Aside from breaking down into hysterical tears…)  And it is getting better… just slowly.  Crazy slow.  (As in, it is making me crazy…)

To keep this from just being a brief whine, I’m including a vocabulary word:  Dura.

Dura is a thin membrane that surround the brain and spinal cord.  It is responsible for keeping the cerebrospinal fluid in place.  (It apparently looks like, and heals about as quickly as Saran Wrap)

(Why, yes, I do have a small hole in my dura… how clever of you to figure that out…)

Well, that was awkward…

I’m hoping that using a photo of a cool, vintage fire extinguisher I look arty, and less like an insurance risk…

Small kitchen fire today.

The second one in a week.

Both of them occurred when I was… boiling water.  That’s right, the wet stuff that most people use to put fires out.

Now that is a talent.  Of some sort.  But mostly embarrassing.

I believe this should be filed under “I probably shouldn’t cook while I have a migraine.”   Or, “Can I blame this on the drugs?  And if I can, shouldn’t I be having more fun than this?”

Migraine, day 94.  The adventure continues….

My brain is still leaking, though I’m feeling less stabby about it…

Why yes, I do still have the migraine. Why do you ask?

So it has been 13 weeks of migraine.  Thirteen.  Thought I’d spell that out, since two digits doesn’t seem to quite cover the unrelenting feeling of a knife in the brain.  I’m not sure eight letters comes close, but at least it is four times the volumn of verbiage.

That totally made sense in my head.  Of course it is a head with 92 days of brain leak scrambling what little intellect I have left, so welcome to my world.

The positive news (aside from the husband who loves me despite my cranky nature, the nice little house I get to call home, the fact that I get to be an artist rather than an office worker, the fact that I couldn’t have chosen better parents… and countless other blessing s in life that keep interfering with any pity party I want to throw myself) is that I’m getting off the steroids.

After a month of Prednisone I finally started tapering off them.  Two and a half weeks ago.  Only two and a half weeks to go.

Tapering is not a fast process people.

My neck and face have stopped looking like a weirdly drawn anime creation, which is lovely.  Not back to normal yet, but at least the generally accepted facial geometry has begun to be reflected in the mirror.

And more importantly I’ve lost the majority of the major mood swings and massive irritation (oh, hell, I’ll be honest… it wasn’t so much mood swings as near murderous rage) I was carrying around.

Yesterday a car did a major illegal/annoying/dangerous move that totally impacted me.  And I did not have the urge to ram them with my vehicle.

This is progress people!

(oh spell check – you amuse me…. auto corrected “stabby” to “shabby”  Totally not what I meant spell check.  You are just lucky I’ve put the large stabby knife down…)

I’m being tested for a kangaroo virus… And how was your day?

Insert joke about kangaroo’s carrying the virus in their pouches here.

So I’m on week six of a migraine.  Which is less fun than it sounds.  Various doctors ask me what has helped in the past, and I say “I’ve never had a migraine before.”  Because I haven’t

Today I saw a new doctor, who I liked very much.  MRI(s) ordered, blood drawn.

And, yes, officially one of the things I’m being tested for is the Q virus, which is in fact carried by kangaroos.  Also by cattle, goats, dogs and cat.   Though mostly in New Zealand.  Which is not where I am.  So the odds are low.

But still – officially being tested for a kangaroo virus.  So that’s sort of cool…