I can no longer tell the difference between fashion, insanity, or lycanthropy

So here is a weird thing about growing older:  at some point you completely lose track of what is cool (including whether or not using the word ‘cool’ is still cool), and you see things and think ‘that person is crazy’ because you don’t know that the person is in fact quite fashionable.

But sometimes the person is in fact crazy.

But you aren’t sure you can spot the difference between the two.

So in the I’m pretty sure this was freakish and not trendy catagory, I was at the yoga studio and while on the ground in a complicated maneuver that I could barely do, and just don’t have the words to describe, I saw that the woman to my right (doing the same complicated thing, which left her on the ground looking to the right, with her left hand grabbing her right foot and attempting to pull it to her head, among other crazy contortions) and I saw her nails.

It was sort of a french manicure – you know where the base of the nail is pink, and the tips are painted white? Except hers was different, with the normal pink at the base, but instead of the white it was red tips.  Long, blood-red tips.  It really looked as though she had mauled someone on the way to the yoga studio, and then forgotten to clean under her nails.  Or that she was part werewolf, and had her claws extended.  (And had forgotten to lick her claws clean after gutting someone on the way to yoga…)

To summarize:  I’m getting older, and in unrelated news, there are werewolves among us. Who apparently understand the importance of remaining flexible.


About woodenmonkey

Just your average solar powered, hybrid driving, organic eating, happily married, pro-choice, feminist Christian artist and writer from San Francisco.

Posted on May 7, 2011, in people baffle me. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. thanks for stopping by. As I said, You Are a Smart WOman. I appreciated your words. 🙂

  2. I live in L.A. where the daily game is to try and figure out who’s nuts and who’s too awesome to talk to me.

    There is a homeless woman in my neighborhood who get’s her hair and nails done and wears vintage boots I can’t afford but sleeps on the stoop in front of a church. I think she kind of qualifies for both categories at once.

    Being in the mountains outside Melbourne Australia it seems like no one is all that cool or all that insane. Which kind of takes the pressure off. I can even go to the grocery store without putting on makeup!

  3. woodenmonkey

    Maybe she is homeless because she spends all her money being cooler than you? Or, since she is sleeping in front of a church, maybe she is just very spiritual – in addition to being too awesome to talk to us mere mortals?

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